How to Start the Conversation on Tinder: Guidelines for Tinder Pick-up Lines

How to start a conversation on tinder
How to start a conversation on tinder

So, you’ve downloaded Tinder. You’ve set your profile up, written a great bio, and chosen your best photos. You’ve come across some major eye candy, swiped right and found out that they like the look of you too. Now what? If you’re wondering how to actually start a conversation without the risk of your Tinder matches ignoring you, then fear not – here are some tips on how to start an engaging conversation (Tinder Pick-up Lines) on Tinder.

Spelling and grammar matter 

This is more of a reminder than a tip, but it’s still super important to take note of. It’s such a turn-off when someone has bad grammar, poor spelling and uses ‘net speak’. Nobody wants that “hey wat r u doin” message in their inbox. This has been proven as well, as the online dating site OkCupid analyzed data on first messages, which showed that messages containing words such as ‘ur’, ‘realy’, ‘luv’ and ‘wat’ only had a maximum response rate of 32%. Every smartphone has autocorrect, so you really have no excuse.

Make the first move

Don’t be afraid to message them first. Chances are they’re waiting for you to start the conversation first. Usually, as a man on Tinder, the ball is in your court. At the same time, this means that women are the ones getting first liners from other men, who are your competition. So how can you beat the competition if you’re not even competing?

Have an interesting opening line

‘Hey’ or ‘hi’ is by far the most boring conversation starters. Anyone can type that because it’s a safe bet opener. It also shows that you aren’t that interested, because it requires zero effort to type. Come up with something unique – and don’t just start off with a GIF either, save those for later.

Go big or go home – skip the small talk

While it might work on some people, it’s almost a guarantee that your match has a million other people asking them the same question – “where are you from?”, “where do you live?”, “what do you do?”. Stand out by asking them the real stuff you want to know, like “what’s your biggest fear?” or “what’s something you would do if money wasn’t a barrier?”.

That being said, sometimes simple is better

Don’t overthink it. If you’re truly stumped and can’t think of anything witty or deep to say, just ask how they are. This way you can show that you’re genuinely interested in listening to them talk about their day. Ask them how their week has been, or if they have any plans for the weekend. This will almost always lead to other topics and the conversation will flow naturally from there.

Compliment them 

Chivalry is not dead, guys. Pick something you like about their photos and compliment them on it. Even if you’re just saying it to start a conversation, you can still make it sound genuine. I mean, you must find them attractive if you’ve already matched with them, right? Having said that, it helps massively if you compliment them on something that isn’t their physical look. That’s what most people go for, so your chances of standing out probably won’t be too high. For example, it could be that they have their pet in one of their Tinder photos and you mention how cute their dog/cat/rabbit is.

Add a personal touch 

There are so many ‘copy & paste’ messages going around on Tinder. There’s nothing more off-putting than receiving a message that has clearly been sent to a dozen other matches. Find something about them that you could use as a conversation starter – may be something in their bio, or ask them about one of their photos. It shows you’ve paid attention to them, and who doesn’t love a bit of attention?

Start with a pop quiz

Make it fun! Treat it as a game that’ll help you get to know the person better. For example, you could start off with something pretty generic, let’s say dessert. Ask them if they had a choice, would they choose cheesecake, ice cream or gateau? This way, it puts a fun twist on basic, straightforward questions.


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